Ah, Memories!
Did you ever notice that when you recall a memory and talk about it, it changes just a little bit. Like fish get bigger at every retelling of the fishing trip. I think that memory is what you tell yourself happened. It changes every time it is told. This gives you a unique opportunity to make some changes. After all, memories, whether good or awful are created in your mind in an instance. You create a map, a picture, a movie of what happened that you recall and relive.
What if you were able to change the picture or movie like an editor does in an actual movie?
I realized a long time ago that the retelling or reliving of a memory will change somewhat every time, if I let it. So, I took the most embarrassing memory I could think of and started tinkering. It happened to be a movie. I started with changing it from color to black and white and noticed that the impact changed, it was slightly less embarrassing.Then I fast-forwarded it and it lost even more impact. OK, that worked. Now how could I turn it into something funny? I made fun of myself in front of the group I was leading. Now I could let it go.
Next I took an incident of my boss yelling with anger at me for something I didn’t even remember having done. I moved the picture far into the background so I could hardly hear him. I changed his voice so he sounded reasonable and calm. Then I tried changing his voice to that of Donald Duck. Pretty soon I was laughing, no longer intimidated.
It is important that you really want to change the memory in order for this to work. You might take away the opportunity to blame something or someone for your misfortune. Or you might take away your excuse to feel sorry for yourself. Your memory might have a positive intent for you or some part of it. You may want to discover what that is. So, be sure you want to change it or let it go. It is also helpful that you are in a very relaxed comfortable position, almost like being in a trance. You can play with what you see, what you hear, what you feel, by changing subtle aspects of sight, hearing, and feeling- like color, distance, speed, loudness, tone quality, variations in touch and notice how that changes your feelings. You can always change it back if you don’t like the result. Remember, you are the director, writer, editor of your memories.
Please note that if you have experienced trauma and have been diagnosed with PTSD you should tread lightly here. You do not want to incur flashbacks.
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